I am finding my pastor really hard to deal with and it is colouring how I feel about the whole church. How do I handle that respectfully?

“And Moses' father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not good. Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.”

Jethro watches his son in law judging Israel alone from morning to evening and tells him bluntly that what he is doing is not good and will wear both him and the people out. It is a father in law's honest word to an exhausted leader, and Moses takes it and changes. The passage is unusual in treating a leader's limits as a practical problem to solve rather than a character failure to expose.

“And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves.”

Paul closes a letter to a young, pressured church by asking them to know the people doing the hard work of leading them, and to hold those people in high regard because of the work itself. The word know is the demanding part: not admire from a distance, not assess from the fourth row, but actually know. Some of what makes a leader hard to deal with looks different up close. Some of it does not, which is worth finding out too.