Faith & Doubt
I do all the Christian things but it feels like going through the motions. How do I actually get closer to God rather than just performing?
“One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.”
David writes with enemies and armies in the background, and against all of that he names a single desire. The striking thing is the narrowing: one thing, not a list. He wants proximity and attention more than he wants rescue. The psalm shows what focused desire looks like in a man with plenty of other entirely legitimate things to ask for.
“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”
James is writing to believers whose community had turned quarrelsome and worldly, and his instruction is startlingly concrete. He gives an action followed by a promised response, and the surrounding verses are about cleaning up specific behavior. Nearness in this letter is not a mood. It follows movement, and the movement is described as something you initiate.
A path forward
Pick one practice and do it daily for thirty days rather than sampling five. Depth comes from repetition, and most people are closer to a real habit than they think.
Deal with one thing you know is wrong: an unforgiven person, a hidden habit, an unpaid debt. Distance from God is often specific rather than general.
Add something you do only for God with no audience: an hour of silence, a fast from one meal a week, giving that nobody knows about. Motions become real when there is no one to perform for.
Closing verse
“I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”
- John 15:5
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