Family & Parenting
My in-laws are becoming a wedge between me and my spouse. How do we handle this as a couple?
“And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
The Preacher has been cataloging what actually makes life bearable under the sun, and he lands on companionship: two are better than one, and a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. The image comes from rope-making, where the strength lies in the twist rather than in the material. What holds a marriage under outside pressure is not the toughness of either person but how tightly the two are wound together.
“And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Jesus is answering a legal question about divorce and he reaches back past the law to creation, describing a new single unit that God himself has joined. The warning at the end is aimed at anyone who pulls at that seam. It is usually quoted at weddings as if it were about the couple alone. It applies just as directly to the relatives sitting in the third row.
A path forward
Have the argument with your spouse, not about your spouse's parents. The moment the conversation becomes your mother rather than us, the two of you have taken opposite sides of the exact seam that is already under strain.
Agree one rule you will both hold: neither of you discusses a disagreement between the two of you with your own parents until it is settled. Most wedges get driven in through information one partner handed over.
Pray together about it, even briefly and awkwardly. Couples who bring an outside pressure to God as a unit tend to stop experiencing that pressure as each other's fault.
Closing verse
“Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
- Ephesians 4:3
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