I am furious with God about this death, and then I feel guilty for being furious. Is anger like that even allowed?

“Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.”

Job has lost his children, his health and his livelihood, and his friends want him to speak carefully about God. He refuses. He announces that he is finished being careful, and that what comes out of his mouth next will be the anguish itself. By the end of the book God rebukes the careful friends and not Job. Scripture preserves forty chapters of raw complaint and treats them as faithful.

“And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

Mark records Jesus on the cross quoting a psalm in the language of his childhood, asking why God has abandoned him. Mark could have softened that line for a nervous readership and chose not to. Whatever else the cry means, it means the sound of anguish thrown straight at God from inside unbearable loss is not foreign to Jesus. He made that sound himself.