My husband died and our children are seven and ten. I am barely upright myself. How do I help them grieve when I am in pieces?

“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Moses is speaking to a generation about to enter the land, and he tells them to work these words into ordinary conversation with their children: at home, on the road, at bedtime, first thing. The picture is not a formal lesson delivered at a set hour. It is the small talk of an ordinary day, which is also exactly when children raise their hardest questions.

“But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.”

When the disciples turn children away as a distraction from the serious work, Jesus is displeased and tells them to let the children through. Mark keeps the detail of his irritation rather than smoothing it out. In a world where children sat at the edge of religious life, Jesus put them in the middle of it. Your children's grief is not a side issue to handle after the adults are sorted.