Identity & Worth
Church seems to reward being outgoing, and I am quiet and drained by crowds. Is something wrong with the way I am wired?
“And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.”
Elijah had just won a very public contest on Mount Carmel, and then collapsed, fled into the desert and asked to die. God's response to him is not another spectacle. Wind, earthquake and fire pass by and God is in none of them, and then comes a low quiet voice. For anyone who suspects their faith is too small because it is not loud, this scene is deliberate.
“Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:”
Paul is arguing with a church that had started ranking its members by how visible their gifting was. He says the parts of the body that seem weaker are necessary, and that God arranged the body deliberately that way. The point is not that quiet people should be tolerated at the edges. It is that a body made only of the loud parts would not be a body, and would not work.
A path forward
Choose one form of service that suits how you are made: hospitality for two people, prayer ministry, practical setup work, one conversation at a time.
Arrive at church early rather than exactly on time. A quiet room before the crowd is a completely different experience from walking into full noise.
Tell your small group leader honestly how you engage best, rather than pretending the current format works for you.
Closing verse
“Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child.”
- Psalm 131:2
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