Prayer & Worship
I know I am supposed to pray for the person who hurt me and I cannot make myself do it. What would I even say?
“And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.”
Job's three friends had spent most of the book explaining that his suffering was his own fault. God's verdict at the end is that they spoke wrongly of him, and Job is the one asked to pray for them. The line that follows is quietly remarkable: it was while he prayed for his friends that his own situation turned. His release came bound up with theirs rather than before it.
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”
Jesus says this in occupied territory, to people who could be stopped and conscripted by a Roman soldier on the road. Enemy was not an abstraction to them. He does not require warm feelings first, he names an action, and prayer is the one thing you can still do for someone you cannot yet face. Notice how low the bar is: speak to God about them, not to them.
A path forward
Begin by praying honestly about them rather than for them. Tell God exactly what they did and how you feel about it. He is not shocked, and there is no route through that skips this part.
Pray one neutral sentence for them daily for a fortnight: that God would deal with them, or that they would come to their senses. You do not have to ask for their blessing yet.
Talk to a pastor or a counsellor before you attempt any contact, particularly if the harm is ongoing. Praying for someone never means putting yourself back within their reach.
Closing verse
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
- Romans 12:19
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