Purpose & Calling
I keep feeling drawn toward ministry, but I cannot tell if it is a real call or just how I feel after a good sermon.
“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”
Jeremiah receives his commission as a young man and immediately protests that he is too young and cannot speak. God's answer reaches backward rather than forward, locating the call before Jeremiah's competence or willingness were factors at all. It is worth noting that the ministry which followed was long, painful and largely unpopular. A genuine call is not the same thing as an appealing one.
“This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.”
Paul is writing to Timothy about the character of church leaders in Ephesus, and he opens the section by treating the desire to lead as a good thing rather than a suspicious one. He then spends far more words on character than on gifting or passion. Wanting it is a legitimate start, and the testing happens through the sort of person you are becoming.
A path forward
Tell your pastor plainly that you are wondering about this. Ask them to be honest with you, and ask what they would want to see in you over the next year.
Start doing the unglamorous parts now: visit someone who is ill, teach the group nobody volunteers for, arrive early to set up chairs. Calls are confirmed in ordinary work.
Notice whether the pull survives a hard week rather than a good service. Feeling stirred in worship is real, but a call tends to persist when nothing is stirring at all.
Closing verse
“For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.”
- Romans 11:29
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