Everything has gone wrong at once and I cannot tell what is God, what is my own bad decisions, and what is just life. How do I read any of it?

“In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: God also hath set the one over against the other, to the end that man should find nothing after him.”

The Preacher gives blunt advice: enjoy the good day, think hard on the bad one, and accept that God has set the two side by side so that nobody can work out what comes next. It is a deliberate refusal to hand out a system for reading events. That refusal is itself pastoral, because most of the exhaustion here comes from trying to decode everything.

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”

Paul is writing to a congregation confident it had knowledge sorted out, and he tells them that for now they see through a glass darkly. He includes himself in that. The clarity people expect about why things happen is simply not available yet, not because anyone's faith is weak but because the vantage point is not ours. Partial sight is the normal Christian condition.