Suffering & Hardship
I am angry at God and it has been building for a long time. I do not know what to do with all of it.
“Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.”
Job announces that he will not hold his tongue, and then speaks with real bitterness for chapters on end. His friends are appalled by it. Yet at the close of the book God says Job spoke rightly about him and his careful, respectful friends did not. The man who shouted stayed in the conversation, and that turned out to count for more than good manners.
“And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”
On the cross Jesus cries out asking why God has forsaken him. He is quoting a psalm, which means the language of feeling abandoned by God was already in the songs he had grown up singing. If those words could come from his mouth, they are not evidence that your faith has collapsed. They are evidence that you are still speaking to him.
A path forward
Say the angry thing to God directly in prayer, in your own words, without editing it first. Anger spoken to him keeps a relationship going. Anger held in silence slowly ends one.
Write down what specifically you believe God did or failed to do. Free floating fury is much harder to work through than a named grievance.
Take this to a pastor or a believer who will not flinch at it. Anger toward God frightens people who have never felt it, so choose someone with some miles on them.
Closing verse
“Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.”
- Psalm 62:8
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