Work & Vocation
My colleagues treat me badly and nothing ever changes. How do I keep forgiving when it just keeps happening?
“But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”
Joseph says this to the brothers who sold him, decades after the fact and only once they are terrified of what he might do. It is not a quick forgiveness; it arrives at the end of a long book and a great deal of weeping. He does not rewrite what they did as harmless. He holds the harm and God's larger work in the same sentence.
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”
Peter offers to forgive seven times, which was generous by the standards of his day, and Jesus multiplies it past the point of counting. The goal is not a longer tally but the end of tallying. He said this to disciples who lived and travelled in close quarters, where the same person wrongs you the same way again and again.
A path forward
Separate forgiveness from trust. You can release someone in prayer this week without handing them access to anything that matters to you.
Bring one specific incident to God each time it resurfaces, rather than praying about the whole situation generally. Repeated forgiveness usually happens one memory at a time.
Take one concrete step to reduce your exposure: move desks, put requests in writing, involve a manager. Forgiving people does not require you to stay in range of them.
Closing verse
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”
- Ephesians 4:32
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