There is someone I have to deal with every week who grates on me constantly. I cannot avoid them and I cannot seem to be decent about them either.

“Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.”

Two proverbs sit side by side and appear to contradict each other: do not answer a fool according to his folly, then answer a fool according to his folly. The ancient editors were not careless, they placed them together on purpose. No single rule covers a difficult person. Some days engaging drags you down to their level, and some days silence lets nonsense stand. Wisdom is knowing which day you are in.

“To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.”

Paul is writing to a colleague working on Crete, a place with a rough reputation, telling him what ordinary Christian conduct looks like among a difficult population: speak evil of no one, avoid brawling, be gentle, show meekness toward everybody. The word behind gentleness suggests yielding rather than insisting on every right you hold. This is instruction for people who genuinely have to live among those who irritate them.