Forgiveness
It is the same person doing the same thing again. How many times am I supposed to forgive before enough is actually enough?
“The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.”
This psalm was sung in Israel's worship as a public recital of God's character. The phrase about being slow to anger is lifted from God's own self-description to Moses at Sinai, given immediately after the golden calf, which is to say immediately after the worst thing the nation had ever done. The pattern of divine patience is deliberately set alongside a real and repeated offence.
“Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.”
Luke records Jesus giving his disciples a startling piece of arithmetic: seven offences in one day and seven returns. But read the whole instruction. It opens with rebuke him, and the forgiving follows the turning. Jesus is not describing a doormat here. He is describing someone who keeps the door open and still says clearly, out loud, when something is wrong.
A path forward
Say the thing to them once, plainly and without a speech. Jesus' instruction includes telling the person, not silently absorbing it again.
Distinguish forgiving the last offence from consenting to the next one. You can do the first without agreeing to the second.
Bring the pattern to a pastor or a wise friend who knows you both, and ask what they can see that you cannot from inside it.
Closing verse
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”
- Matthew 18:21-22
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