Forgiveness
The person I needed to forgive died before any of it was resolved. There is no conversation left to have and I am stuck holding it.
“And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!”
Absalom had rebelled against his father, driven him off his throne, and died in the field before any of it was mended. David's cry, repeating his son's name over and over, is one of the rawest lines in Scripture. No resolution is offered and no lesson is attached to it. The narrative simply records a father grieving a relationship that ended with everything still unfinished.
“So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”
Paul is trying to settle arguments between believers who were judging one another over food and holy days. He stops the quarrel by relocating it: each of us gives account for ourselves to God. When the person you are angry with is beyond reach, that is not a loose end left flapping. Their account exists, and it is not yours to keep or to settle.
A path forward
Write the letter you would have said out loud, then read it somewhere quiet and do not send it. Say the parts you never got to say.
Hand the unfinished part to God in prayer, out loud and by name. The conversation you cannot have with them can still be had with him.
Tell someone who knew you both one true thing about the relationship, the good and the hard together. Unspoken history sets hard.
Closing verse
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”
- Psalm 147:3
Coming Soon
Want to ask your own question?
Revealed is building a feature that lets you ask anything and receive a Bible-rooted response drawn from both Testaments. Join the waitlist to be first to know when it launches.