Relationships
People keep telling me there is one person God has picked out for me. Is that true, or am I supposed to just choose?
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
The opening chapters of Genesis describe what human life was designed to be, and this is the first moment anything in creation is called not good. Loneliness is named as a problem before sin ever enters the story. What God provides is a companion suited to the man, a counterpart rather than a predetermined puzzle piece. The need for partnership is built in. The mechanics of finding one are never spelled out.
“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”
Paul is writing practical answers to believers in Corinth about marriage, widowhood and freedom, in a city where matches were routinely arranged for money and status. His ruling is strikingly open: a widow is free to marry whom she will, with one qualifier, that it be in the Lord. Scripture sets character as the boundary and leaves the actual choosing to you, which is more freedom and more responsibility than the soulmate story offers.
A path forward
Write down what you actually mean when you say you are waiting for the right one. If the definition is mostly a feeling, replace it with three character qualities you could observe over six months.
Bring this to God as a decision rather than a lottery. Pray for the wisdom to choose well instead of for a sign that removes the choosing.
Ask one married couple you respect how they decided. Most will describe a choice they kept making, which is far more useful to you than a story about destiny.
Closing verse
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”
- Proverbs 18:22
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