Relationships
I honestly do not know whether I should be dating right now. How do I tell what God wants for me in this season?
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:”
Ecclesiastes is the record of a man who tried everything available to him and wrote down what he learned, much of it uncomfortable. His famous list of seasons is not sentimental. It is an argument that timing is real, that things good in themselves can be attempted at the wrong moment, and that we are not the ones who set the calendar. Wanting something does not settle whether now is when.
“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”
Paul wrote to a church in Colossae anxious about who held the right spiritual credentials, and told them to let the peace of Christ act as umpire in their hearts. The word he chose describes an arbiter making the call in a contest. It is not a promise that the right decision always feels calm, but it does suggest that persistent unrest is information worth taking seriously rather than overriding.
A path forward
Name what you would be dating for right now, in one written sentence. If the honest answer is loneliness or distraction, that is worth knowing before you involve another person.
Take four weeks off the apps and spend that time rebuilding one thing you have neglected: a friendship, your work, your health, your sleep.
Ask a pastor or an older Christian you trust what they would want to see in place before you date again, then treat their answer as a real answer rather than a suggestion to file away.
Closing verse
“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.”
- Psalm 32:8
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