Relationships
Am I allowed to walk away from a friendship that keeps hurting me, or does God expect me to stay no matter what?
“Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”
Proverbs is practical wisdom for people learning how to live, and it is not sentimental about company. This saying is blunt: do not make a friend of a hot tempered man, because you will learn his ways and be caught in a snare. The concern is not that such a person is beyond love. It is that proximity forms us, and the forming happens whether we intend it or notice it.
“And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;”
Luke records that Paul and Barnabas disagreed so sharply about whether to take John Mark that they parted company. He does not tidy the episode up or assign blame, and both men went on serving God on separate paths. The New Testament contains an unresolved falling out between two of its leading figures, which is worth remembering if you have been told distance always means failure.
A path forward
Name the specific pattern rather than the general feeling. Write down three recent examples. If you cannot find three, this may be a hard season; if you can, you have your answer.
Talk to someone outside the friendship who will tell you the truth, ideally a pastor or a counsellor, before you make this decision alone at one in the morning.
If you do step back, do it cleanly and without a speech. Reduce contact, keep your account of them honest in prayer, and refuse to build a case against them in your head.
Closing verse
“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”
- 1 Corinthians 15:33
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