Relationships
My whole mood depends on how one person is doing. I cannot tell where they end and I begin anymore.
“It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”
This psalm was sung at festivals by people who had learned the hard way what happens when a nation leans its weight on alliances and kings. The line about taking refuge in God being better than trusting in man is not cynicism about people. It is a statement about load bearing walls. Human beings are worth loving deeply and are not built to hold the weight of another person's whole self.
“I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”
On the last night before his arrest, Jesus told his disciples that he was the vine and they were the branches, and that apart from him they could do nothing. He was preparing people who were about to lose the person they had organised their lives around. The image relocates the source: your life is fed from him, and that is what makes it possible to love someone without needing them to keep you alive.
A path forward
Notice one decision this week you would make differently if their reaction did not exist, and make it that way. Start small, because the point is proving to yourself that you can.
Rebuild one thing that was yours before this relationship: a friendship, a hobby, a standing commitment. Put it in the calendar so it does not depend on how the week is going.
Begin your prayers by telling God what you need rather than what they need. If you cannot fill five minutes, that is the diagnosis, and it is worth taking to a pastor or counsellor.
Closing verse
“My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.”
- Psalm 62:5
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