Relationships
We are technically married but living separate lives under the same roof. Where does that leave us, and where does it leave me with God?
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.”
Hosea was told to marry a woman who would be unfaithful to him, so that Israel could see its own story acted out. What is startling is God's response to the estrangement. Not a settlement, but a plan to lead her out into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her there. The wilderness is not the punishment in that picture. It is the quiet place where a relationship gone cold gets talked about again.
“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
Paul is answering real questions from a divided church about separation and marriage. His instruction is that a wife should not separate from her husband, and that if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled. He is not naive about how bad a marriage can get and he does not pretend separation never happens. He keeps the door to reconciliation propped open rather than sealing it shut.
A path forward
Name the arrangement out loud to your spouse rather than letting it continue by default. One sentence will do: 'We are living like strangers and I do not want to keep doing this.'
Ask for one specific small shared thing this month, a weekly meal with phones away or a walk on Sunday. Distance was built in small increments and it closes the same way.
Get a third party involved, a pastor or a marriage counsellor, and go even if your spouse will not come. Somebody has to break the silence, and it may as well be you.
Closing verse
“A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.”
- Ezekiel 36:26
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