Relationships
My friendships are pleasant but nobody ever tells me the truth. How do I find people who actually make me better?
“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”
The image behind this proverb is a workshop, not a greeting card. Iron sharpening iron involves friction, noise and sparks, and both blades lose a little material in the process. The wisdom writers assumed that the person who shapes you will sometimes be uncomfortable to be around. A friendship in which nothing is ever contested may be pleasant company, but it is not doing this particular work.
“And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:”
The writer is addressing believers who were drifting away from one another under pressure, and he tells them to consider how to spur each other toward love and good works. The verb carries the sense of provocation, a deliberate nudge. He also assumes it takes thought, since you consider how, which means friendships that shape us are usually built on purpose rather than stumbled into.
A path forward
Ask one friend this month for honest feedback on something specific: how you handle conflict, or how you have seemed lately. Then thank them instead of defending yourself.
Offer first what you want to receive. Tell one friend something true about your own life that you would normally keep polished, and see what it opens up.
Join something with a fixed rhythm, a small group or a serving team, and commit to six months. Depth is usually a function of repeated presence far more than chemistry.
Closing verse
“And Jonathan Saul's son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God.”
- 1 Samuel 23:16
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